Lochnerhof Laerskool (City Of Cape Town)

Lochnerhof Laerskool in Helderberg, sitting there with their chest out like they invented education in the Cape. R23,464 a year for a primary school, same price for Grade R as Grade 7, which means they looked at a five-year-old who still eats glue and said "ja, same rate, pay up." At least vary the price, broe. The glue-eater and the kid writing exams should not be on the same tariff. And then the school description, listen to this, they say they are "ten volle verbind tot die verskaffing van dinamiese, moedertaalonderrig wat lei tot uitnemende kwaliteit." Broe. You used twelve Afrikaans words to say "we teach nicely." That is the most committed way to say the least possible thing. Dinamiese. They typed dinamiese with a straight face. Meanwhile the teacher is on her third cup of coffee before assembly and the Holy Spirit is doing most of the admin. Speaking of which, Christian ethos at a school with 1022 kids and 46 teachers means every class has 22 learners and one very tired, very faithful educator praying the bell rings on time. That is not a school, that is a congregation with homework. At least the Helderberg weather is nicer than Cape Town proper, small mercies. Overall verdict: Lochnerhof is a proper, solid laerskool that clearly works hard for its community, but that description is giving motivational poster at a guesthouse in Paarl.