Beaumont Primary School (City Of Cape Town)

Beaumont Primary in Helderberg, home of the wine farms and the people who couldn't quite afford Constantia but still drive a bakkie like they own the place. You've got 1354 kids being looked after by 60 teachers, which means your teacher has approximately 22 other children to ignore before they get to you. That is not a classroom, that is a taxi rank with a whiteboard. Now let us talk about these fees. Grade R, where you are literally learning to hold a crayon and not eat it, costs R32,547 a year. R32,547. For a six year old. The school says they want to nurture "intellectual, cultural and physical potential within a sound value system," and broe, that value system apparently includes a very optimistic understanding of what a public school costs. Public school. PUBLIC. The audacity is sending me. And that description, "stimulating, inclusive learning environment." With 22.6 kids per teacher during load shedding in Helderberg, I promise you the most stimulating part of the day is whether the generator kicks in before the bell goes. Someone copy-pasted that mission statement from a private school in Bishopscourt and hit submit without blinking. Overall verdict: Beaumont Primary is basically a parking lot full of children with a vision statement borrowed from a school that charges double, but somehow they're keeping over a thousand kids in one place every day and that genuinely deserves respect.