Crawford College La Lucia

R198,000 a year. R198,000. Broe, that is not school fees, that is a bond repayment. Your parents are literally taking out a home loan so you can write an English essay and fail Maths. At R198k for Grade 12 alone, by the time you finish your matric certificate you could have bought a decent car, furnished a flat, AND still had enough left over for Matric rage in Ballito. But no. Here you are. At Crawford. In La Lucia. And speaking of La Lucia, let us just acknowledge that La Lucia is the kind of suburb that takes itself very seriously. The name alone. La Lucia. Very continental. Very "we do not say braai, we say barbecue." The school fits right in because Crawford also takes itself extremely seriously. Crawford College, where every sentence in the brochure sounds like it was written by someone wearing a linen blazer on a Tuesday. The thing is though, Crawford kids are not actually badly educated. That is the annoying part. You come out of there able to speak properly, think critically, and carry yourself like you own the room. Which, at R198k a year, your parents basically did own the room. Several rooms. The whole corridor probably. So ja, you paid for it, but at least you got something for it, unlike some other private schools we know. Overall verdict: Crawford La Lucia is what happens when a school actually delivers on its ridiculous price tag, and that is both impressive and deeply irritating.