Kearsney College (Botha'S Hill)

Kearsney College in Botha's Hill, because nothing says "we are better than you" like putting your school on an actual hill so you can look down at everyone. R259,878 a year for Grade 12. That is not school fees, bru. That is a bond repayment. That is a whole Toyota Hilux every year, just so your son can learn to speak with a slightly different accent and play cricket in white pants. The parents at Kearsney are not paying for education, they are paying for the *vibe* of paying that much. And then the school describes itself as wanting to be "world-class" while sitting in Botha's Hill, KwaZulu-Natal. World-class. The website is basically a LinkedIn profile written by someone who just discovered the word "holistic." Methodist heritage, global competitiveness, full potential, the whole bingo card is there. They said "empowering boys to achieve their full potential" like the boys are not already arriving in Range Rovers with their full potential pre-loaded from birth, bru. Eight point seven learners per educator though, we have to give credit. That ratio is tighter than the queue at a private school tuck shop on a Friday. Every boy basically has his own personal teacher watching him achieve his Methodist holistic potential on that hill. Must be nice. Overall verdict: Kearsney College is what happens when a school actually has the money to match its ego, and somehow, annoyingly, it works.