Curro Hazeldean High School (Pretoria)

Curro Hazeldean, where the fees hit R120,840 a year for Grade 12 and the school description reads like a Wikipedia article written by someone who had to submit it before load shedding hit. "Independent, co-educational, fee-paying day school with no boarding facilities." Broe, that is the most expensive nothing-extra sentence ever written. You paying almost R10k a month and the best they could say about themselves is "we have learners and educators." Congratulations, so does every school in Pretoria. Eighteen learners per teacher sounds fine until you realise you are still sharing a teacher with seventeen other kids whose parents also paid R120k and are equally furious about the maths results. Hazeldean is that part of Pretoria that sounds like it should have a duck pond and a farmers market but is actually just a new estate where every house looks the same and the Curro was built before the Checkers. You know the type. The school probably went up the same week the show houses opened. And listen, IEB curriculum is great, genuinely, but when your own school cannot think of a single interesting thing to say about itself beyond "we exist and we charge fees," maybe use some of that R96k Grade 7 money to hire someone who can write a description that does not sound like a terms and conditions page. Overall verdict: Curro Hazeldean is basically a very expensive Google Maps listing that somehow got accredited by the IEB, but at least the teachers probably know your name.