HoëRskool Monument (Krugersdorp)

Hoërskool Monument in Krugersdorp, hey. Krugersdorp. Not Joburg, not Pretoria, Krugersdorp. The city that Joburg forgot to invite to the braai but it still pitched up anyway with its own meat and now it just lives here. Respect for the hustle though. Now listen, 1481 learners with 93 teachers gives you a ratio of about 16 kids per teacher, which sounds manageable until you realise this is a Gauteng public school and those 93 teachers are doing the work of 200 while the department is somewhere sending emails about "transformation goals" instead of fixing the photocopier. The tuck shop queue is probably longer than the register. But here is the thing that kills me, a 99.6% matric pass rate. NINETY NINE POINT SIX. That is not a school, that is a factory with a bowtie on. One kid failed or nearly failed and somewhere there is a staffroom meeting where that child's name was said very slowly. The teachers at Monument are clearly not playing around, they are out here coaching matric results like Rassie coaches a World Cup squad, absolutely no passengers allowed. You almost want to be annoyed but you cannot, because that number is genuinely hectic. Overall verdict: Monument is the overachiever at the Krugersdorp braai who brought a spreadsheet instead of a salad, but honestly, you want them on your team.