Eden College (Johannesburg)

Eden College. Eden. As in the garden. As in paradise. Broe, if this school is paradise, it has 311 people crammed into it and 35 teachers watching your every move like angels with clipboards. With a learner to educator ratio of 8.9 to 1, you cannot even breathe wrong without a teacher materialising next to you. You sneeze in class and four educators write a report about it. There is no hiding at the back and sleeping, no chance, this is not a government school with 45 kids and one exhausted teacher who gave up in 2009. And then they pull a 97.6% matric pass rate and want you to act normal about it. With almost one teacher per nine kids in Lyndhurst, Joburg, you would be shocked if the pass rate was NOT that high. That is like bragging your braai is fire when you used a gas stove. Of course it worked, you had every possible advantage lined up. Lyndhurst itself is sitting there quietly between Sandton money and Jozi chaos, not quite fancy enough to be Bryanston but too respectable to be completely unhinged. Just like this school. Structured, attentive, probably has a very strict gate policy and a tuck shop that closes exactly on time. Overall verdict: Eden College is basically a very expensive private tutor who also gives you a school uniform, but the 97.6% pass rate means they are doing something right so we cannot be too mad.