El Shaddai Learning Academy (Brakpan)

El Shaddai Learning Academy. "El Shaddai" is one of the Hebrew names of God, which means this school named itself after the Almighty, and they are still operating out of Brakpan. Bro. God himself would look at that combination and say "leave me out of this one." The audacity to invoke divine authority and then plant your flag in Brakpan, Gauteng, where the highlight of the area is arguing about whether Boksburg is actually nicer. And "Learning Academy" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that name. Not just a school, not just a college, an ACADEMY. An academy of learning, no less, just in case you thought it was an academy of forgetting. They really sat down, looked at Brakpan, and said you know what this place needs, something that sounds like it belongs in a Marvel movie. El Shaddai Learning Academy, where students assemble. To be fair though, it is co-ed and it is a combined school, so at least the whole family can be confused together from Grade R all the way through to matric. One school, one location, one divine name, somewhere off the East Rand. The kids probably bond hard over surviving the commute alone. Overall verdict: El Shaddai may have borrowed God's name and Brakpan's vibes, but somehow it is holding it together as a combined school, which honestly takes a miracle, and at least they are not pretending to be in Sandton.