Kingswood College (Grahamstown)

Kingswood College in Grahamstown, or sorry, "Makhanda," wherever they are in the Eastern Cape trying to convince parents that R183,990 a year is a reasonable thing to spend on a Grade 12 child. Bru. That is not school fees, that is a deposit on a house in Parow. And it starts at R48,030 for Grade R. The child cannot even read yet. They are literally charging you almost fifty grand for a five-year-old to finger-paint and take naps. Christian ethos and all, but Jesus definitely flipped tables over something like this. Then the description says "unique opportunities for every child to flourish, at school and beyond." Beyond where, exactly? Beyond the Eastern Cape? Because getting beyond the Eastern Cape is probably the main skill they are teaching. Grahamstown is not exactly buzzing. The most exciting thing happening there is load shedding and the National Arts Festival once a year. But hey, at least it is boarding, so your kid can be far away from home AND far away from anything resembling a Woolworths. They go from Grade 000 all the way to Grade 12, which means this school has had its hands in your wallet since before your child could form a sentence. Fifteen-plus years of fees. Do the maths. Actually, do not do the maths, it will ruin your weekend. Overall verdict: Kingswood will absolutely give your kid a great education and a lifelong talent for explaining to people where Makhanda is.